My rapist had these ‘New Age’ teachings and catch phrases that the rest of the world might find nice and quaint, but I see as down right dangerous. For the record, I do not believe that he actually believes this bullshit. He found something that ‘works’. He manipulates people, and it is ALL he knows how to do. He stumbled on this type of belief system that literally TEACHES sociopathic ‘principles’ and dissociation to the suggestible, vulnerable or open-minded. This believe system is PERFECT for Narcissists because they can control those that are searching for answers, with out the victims actually realizing what is going on. If a victim DOES see what is going on and tries to stop it, this mindset always offers a way to ‘justify’ both what the perpetrator did, and a reason as to why it was ‘your fault’. I think its something this perpetrator had to force himself to ‘believe’, if you will, in order to justify the lack of conscience or emotion.
Coercive Persuasion (much like hypnotism, only with more force) is a tool that con-artists will use against everyone and anyone. To these types of people every relationship, every move is simply a transaction to gain control and get what they want from others. From the space of an “authority figure” this is a dangerous tool that can rip apart the minds, bodies and souls of the victim and it can be seen running RAMPANT in the ‘New Age’ and ‘Spiritual communities’. The following are but a few cheap phrases that my rapist has built his empire of millions of followers on top of and what this REALLY mean to one of his rape victims.
- “You can have, do or be ANYTHING you want.”
Anything? ANYTHING? You can’t HAVE someone that doesn’t want you! Having been Raped and Sexually abused by this person, I find it sickening that other people out there use this phrase. I didn’t want you. But you felt entitled to me regardless of what I wanted. I said “NO” loud and clear but that wasn’t good enough. You were obsessed with me and you were going to do anything it took to have me. You stole me, and you won’t walk away from this so easily. I became lost when you said that I create my own reality… I became godless when you told me you were god and then you raped me.
- “What you Resist Persists.”
A perfect phrase for a Rapist. I told him “NO” over and over again. He kept getting more and more persistent. He kept advancing despite my obvious protest. They call it Tonic Immobility when you freeze during this type of flight or fight scenario. My rapist wouldn’t take no for an answer. He was going to do whatever it took. I did everything I could until I couldn’t fight it off anymore. I RESISTED, I fought, I said “NO”, I was crying and yet he wouldn’t fucking stop. I HATE this phrase. There is NOTHING true about it. If you feel the need to resist something- that feeling is THERE for a REASON and please don’t allow ANYONE to take your internal compass away from you. These “teachers” just attempt to lead people into a mindset where they are completely SUGGESTIBLE.
- “Love is ALL there is.”
This phrase is disturbing because it can warp the perception of what love is for the Victim. When I was recording our final confrontation (unbeknownst to you), you told me “Everything I did, I did out of Love” and to this day, this phrase is slimy and degrading as it ever was. I DIDN’T WANT YOU. I hated you. You are despicable. You are the most deranged person I have ever met in my life. What you did to me was not love. It was greedy and spineless. RAPE IS NOT LOVE you ugly son of a bitch. “Love is all there is?” Tell me that again once the world knows what you are.
And to my rapist:
Not that you care, dick- but I was sure of myself and confident from a young age. I was sure of myself when I was 21 and decided to travel with 3 people that I had never met. I loved meeting new people and I wanted adventure. I was sure of myself when I told you that I wanted to be friends when you wanted something more. I was sure of myself when I didn’t want to be touched. I was sure of myself I said no when you tried to get my into the shower with you. AND i was fucking confident in the fact I never wanted to have sex with you…that I never wanted you inside of me. You ripped me apart. And yet there you are trying to “save the world” when time fucking STOPPED for me. My life nearly ended. If you are so keen on “heaven on earth” “honesty” “truth” “connection” “love” “living in light”, “ascending” and “higher vibrations”- I would take a burning fiery Hell any day. I might appear like the goddamned Devil to some of your followers. I’m a black hole and I don’t care. Because I know the truth. You are a liar. Your empire of delusion. Your fake tears, your pitiful gimmick of “youth” and “innocence”, your god-complex… You are a living lie and you will NEVER silence me again. Is this too “dense” for you? The truth? Get a fucking backbone, bitch. This is what reality feels like.